


christmases when you were mine.

by pyroallerdyce



Series: i refuse to admit there was a beach divorce (aka all my charles/erik fics) [77]
Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe – Modern Setting, Alternate Universe – Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe – No Powers, Christmas, Christmas Eve, December writing challenge, Holidays, Inspired by Music, M/M, Memories, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Relationship, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Short One Shot, Tumblr Prompt, Wordcount: 1.000-3.000, time capsule
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 17:27:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21892114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pyroallerdyce/pseuds/pyroallerdyce
Summary: Season's greetings, hope you're wellWell I'm doing alrightIf you were wonderingLately I can never tellI know this shouldn't be a lonely timeBut there were Christmases when you were mineor:  Erik was Charles's college sweetheart, and even though they split a decade ago, Charles still can't completely let go.  On the last Christmas that they spent together, Erik gave Charles a present with a note that said 'Do not open me until Christmas 2019,' and now, it's finally time to open it.  Charles thinks that doing so will help him finally break free of his feelings from Erik, but what happens after he opens it changes everything.
Relationships: Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier
Series: i refuse to admit there was a beach divorce (aka all my charles/erik fics) [77]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1202509
Comments: 7
Kudos: 31
Collections: December Writing Challenge - 2019





	christmases when you were mine.

**Author's Note:**

> happy December from the artist formerly known as porcelainsimplicity. 'tis still me, just a different username.
> 
> Day 21 of my December writing challenge. Prompt by the-modern-typewriter on Tumblr. I just changed the date. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Day 21 prompt: The fire crackled and the lights twinkled, illuminating the room with a soft and intimate glow. His mouth had gone dry. The present rested in his hands, a little battered by the years, the handwriting aching in his chest. 'Do not open me until Christmas 2019.' It was finally time.  
> Day 21 title song: Christmases When You Were Mine by Taylor Swift

Every time he thought about it, Charles just knew that it had been a terrible mistake. His relationship with Erik had lasted from the first week of college until a couple of weeks after it, and whenever he thought about the series of arguments that had led to their breakup, Charles ached more than he ever knew he was capable of experiencing. It had been so, so stupid of them.

Erik had received a job offer, but it was in Denver and Charles had wanted to stay in New York. The arguments had been epic, worse than any arguments they'd ever had before, and the day that Erik decided to end things and take the job in Denver was, in hindsight, the worst day of Charles's life. Erik moved his things out a week later and the goodbye they shared was the last time that they'd spoken to one another.

In 2009, the last Christmas that they spent together before their breakup, Charles found a present under the tree from Erik that said 'Do not open me until Christmas 2019.' He had been incredibly curious as to what that was all about, but Erik made him promise not to open it until then. And even though they split, even though Charles desperately wanted to know what was inside that box, he held to his promise not to open it.

And now it was finally 2019.

Charles had taken the present with him from apartment to apartment, hanging onto it whether he was in a relationship with someone or not. His sister Raven told him to get rid of the present at least a hundred times, asking him why he needed to hang onto this memory of something that went so wrong. Raven thought that Charles would feel better once he finally freed himself from Erik for good, and the only way to free himself was to get rid of the one thing he was still holding onto in the form of the present. But Charles had never listened to her, had never told her that he thought splitting up with Erik was the worst mistake he'd ever made.

With the distance that time had brought, Charles could see that they took the easy way out instead of having a serious conversation about what was actually going on. Was this job in Denver the right opportunity for Erik? Would Charles have been able to find a job there? So many questions that Charles should have asked echoed through his head on cold, lonely nights, but since he'd never heard from Erik, he assumed that Erik didn't feel the same way. Erik had clearly moved on with his life.

Maybe Raven was right. Maybe once Charles got rid of the present he could finally be free.

On Christmas Eve, Charles retrieved the present from the closet that he kept it in. It was a little battered by the years, the edges worn and one of them slightly damaged, but the handwriting on the attached note still made Charles's heart ache. He really missed Erik more than he could ever express. Knowing that Raven and her boyfriend Hank were on their way over so they could spend Christmas together, Charles knew that he needed to open the present before they got there. Raven would just tell him to get rid of it if he tried to open it in front of her, that Charles knew for sure.

Charles sat down on the floor in front of his Christmas tree and set the present in front of him, staring at it for a moment before reaching for the glass of scotch that set on the coffee table. He closed his eyes and downed the entire glass, setting it back on the table and reaching for the present before him. He tore into the wrapping paper quickly, telling himself to get this over with so that he could move on and actually enjoy the holiday, and he found one of those square boxes you could get at a department store, a note attached to the top. Charles stared at it for a couple of minutes before slowly removing the note, taking a deep breath before beginning to read.

Erik had known that Charles always wanted to put together a time capsule and bury it in the yard, only to dig it up ten years later and see all of the things that had meant the most to him then. But since they had always lived in an apartment and were quite a long way from being able to afford a house, he thought that perhaps this box might suffice. Charles was in tears by the end of the note, unsure of whether he actually wanted to open the box now that he knew what it was, and he stared at it for a long time before reaching for it and taking the top off.

The first thing he saw was the playbill from the only play on Broadway they'd gone to see together. Charles smiled at the memory and picked it up, flipping through its pages quickly before setting it to the side and reaching for the next thing. The label off a bottle of their favorite scotch made Charles look over at the table where his bottle sat, that same label adorning it. Charles couldn't help but wonder if Erik still drank the same scotch. 

He spent the next several minutes pulling things out of the box. A takeout menu from the restaurant where they had their first date. A boarding pass from when they flew to Jamaica for Spring Break. A whole bunch of movie tickets. One of Erik's t-shirts with their college name and logo splashed across the front of it, the exact kind that Charles used to steal from Erik to sleep in during the winter. 

Underneath the shirt was a bunch of photos of them together, and by the time that Charles had finished looking through them, he was sobbing. He missed Erik more at that moment than he had at any point in the previous ten years and that was saying something.

The door to the apartment opened a few minutes later, Raven letting them into the apartment. “Charles? Why didn't you answer when we buzzed? We had to wait out there until someone left so we could get in the building!”

Charles didn't answer her, and a moment later, Raven walked into the room to find Charles on the floor, tears still streaming down his cheeks. She took one look at what was laying on the floor around him and immediately knew that Charles had opened the box. “Oh, Charles.”

“I had to,” Charles got out. “I had to open it.”

Hank leaned over to Raven and lowered his voice. “What is going on?”

“Remember how I told you Charles wouldn't let go of his college boyfriend? He'd given him a present that said not to open it until Christmas of this year and Charles has just opened it.”

“Ah,” Hank said. “What do we do?”

“You go put the suitcase in the spare bedroom. I'll deal with him,” Raven murmured. 

Hank nodded and walked out of the room as Raven walked over to where Charles was and dropped to her knees next to him. “I think it's a good thing that you opened it. Now you can let go.”

Charles swallowed hard before turning towards her and shaking his head. “It's just made me miss him more,” he cried. “I have thought for ten years that we took the easy way out and I promised myself that I'd tell Erik that if I ever heard from him again. But it's obvious that Erik has moved on. The fact that I'm sitting here with all these mementos of our love surrounding me knowing that I'll never get that love again? It's just breaking my heart all over again.”

Charles started to put things back in the box as Raven watched on. Once they were all back in the box, he stood and headed towards the closet, shoving it back into its place. He took a deep breath and went back into the other room, plastering a smile on his face. “Raven? Hank? Do you want some scotch?”

As Hank replied that he would and Charles went to pour it, Raven quickly clicked through her phone until she was pressing the button that made her ringtone play. “Oh, fuck, that's probably Emma. I really need to answer this.”

“Of course,” Charles said as he handed a glass to Hank. “I'll have one ready for you when you come back.”

Raven nodded and stood, heading into the spare bedroom and sitting down on the bed. She closed her eyes and made sure that she really wanted to do what she was about to do, then scrolled through her contacts and found Erik's. Erik had come to work where she did about three years ago, and they'd ended up on the same floor. She had heard for almost all of that time that Erik missed Charles a lot but that he was sure Charles was happy now and that he didn't want to disrupt that. Erik had asked her not to say anything to him about them working together, but as Raven pressed the button to call, she knew that things needed to be resolved once and for all.

When Erik answered the phone, Raven took a deep breath. “I'm sorry for calling, Erik.”

“No, you're not. Whatever it is, make it quick, would you? My young cousins are trying to teach me the story of the nativity.”

Raven took another deep breath. “Charles opened the box.”

Erik stayed silent and Raven knew what he was likely thinking. She rattled off Charles's phone number. “Charles misses you more than anything and if you still love him like you say you do, then you need to call and tell him that.”

“Raven,” Erik started before trailing off.

“I have thought for years that he just needs to move on. But it has become very clear to me tonight that he doesn't need that at all. What he needs, however, is you. Call him. Tonight. I think you'll regret it if you don't.” Raven said Charles's phone number again and then hung up the phone.

She'd done all that she could. Now it was up to Erik to make things right.

Raven walked back into the sitting room and sat down next to Hank, accepting a glass from Charles before smiling. “It's freezing in here, Charles. Why haven't you turned up the heat?”

“It wasn't something that I thought about when I came home after work,” Charles said, heading towards the thermostat. “I was thinking of other things.”

Charles thought about how he and Erik liked the room at two different temperatures. They'd eventually compromised once they had moved in together, meeting in the middle. Charles stared at the thermostat for a moment before swallowing hard and setting it to that compromised number. He closed his eyes and walked back into the room. He really needed another drink.

Charles tried hard to enjoy the rest of the evening, shaking his head when Raven put a ton of presents underneath the tree, teasing her about how much money she'd spent. When they went to bed around midnight, Charles was starting to wonder why it was he'd opened the box to begin with. He knew he wasn't going to enjoy this Christmas now and he'd actually been looking forward to it.

As he settled into bed, he was just about to turn off the bedside lamp when his phone rang. He picked it up, saw a number he didn't recognize, declined the call, and turned off the lamp. But his phone kept ringing, and it kept being from that same number, and eventually, he answered it out of annoyance. “What?”

“Charles?”

Charles sat up straight at the sound of that voice. “Erik?”

“Yes, it's me,” Erik said, and then silence descended upon them.

“How are you?” Erik eventually said.

“Fine,” Charles said, silence descending upon them once again. “How did you get my number?”

“I got it from Raven.”

“Raven?”

“Raven and I work together,” Erik explained. “She gave me your number earlier and told me to call you.”

“Of course she did,” Charles said, exasperated. “She is always, always, always trying to interfere in my life. It's like she thinks that she should be running it instead of letting me make my own decisions. If you don't want anything to do with me then she should have minded her own business and left things alone.”

Erik laughed. “I missed seeing you get like that about her.”

Charles laughed too. “I take it she told you that I opened the box then.”

“Yes, she did,” Erik said. “Did you like it?”

“It just made me think of all the fun times we shared. All of the things that I miss desperately,” Charles said, taking a deep breath. “I think we made a colossal mistake, Erik. If you don't, that's fine. I'll get over it. But I just think that we took the easy way out instead of having an actual conversation about things.”

“You do?” Erik said, surprised. “From the way Raven always talks about you, it sounded like you were happy. I was expecting to hear about your absolutely amazing partner.”

“No, Erik. There's no one and quite frankly, there's never been anyone even remotely close to being amazing. That has only been you.”

“I tried to move on too,” Erik said softly. “But it didn't work. My thoughts always went back to you but I was certain that you wouldn't want to hear from me so I didn't reach out. When I started working with Raven, I asked her not to say anything to you because I didn't want to disrupt your life. I just thought you were happy without me.”

“I haven't been happy since the moment we decided to end things,” Charles murmured. “And I really don't think I'll ever be happy again.”

“I think that you will be,” Erik said. “I think that we both will be.”

“You'll have to forgive me if I don't know how that's possible. I've just wanted you back, Erik. I still just want you back. But I know it can't happen.”

There was a pause before Erik spoke. “I think we should have dinner after Christmas is over.”

“Dinner?”

“Yes, dinner,” Erik said. “There's no way we'll be able to talk things out over the phone at midnight on Christmas.”

“I think that you're probably right about that,” Charles said, taking a deep breath. “But you really want to talk things out?”

“I really want to talk things out,” Erik confirmed. “How about we go to the restaurant that we went to on our first date? It was the start of something really great last time and maybe it will be second time lucky.”

Charles couldn't stop the smile from spreading across his face. “I think that is perfect then.”

“Then we'll speak after Christmas,” Erik said, “but I really need to get to bed now. My young cousins are going to have us all up very early in the morning, I'm sure.”

“I should get to bed as well. It doesn't matter that she's nearly thirty, Raven will have us up at five a.m. to open presents.”

Erik laughed. “I can so picture her doing that. I'll have to tease her about that at work.”

“Oh, please do,” Charles said. “It will annoy the shit out of her.”

“Then that is something that must happen,” Erik said. “I will talk to you sometime next week then.”

“I look forward to it.”

They said their goodbyes and Charles brought the phone down from his ear, staring at it as he tried to convince himself that he wasn't dreaming. A few deep breaths later, Charles clicked through the screens until he could save that number in his phone as Erik's, and then he set it on the bedside table and settled down into bed. Even though it was from a decade ago, Charles couldn't help but think that present might be the best one he could have ever gotten.


End file.
